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Financial Quotes

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
~ Frank Hubbard

We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs.
~ Gloria Steinem

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
~ Errol Flynn

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
~ Mark Twain

They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money.
~ George Savile, Complete Works, 1912

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
~ Louis Agassiz

There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either.
~ Robert Graves

When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
~ John Wesley

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach.
~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt

After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world.
~ Pam Shaw

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
~ Cree Indian Proverb

The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
~ Mad Magazine

I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
~ Pablo Picasso

Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life.
~ Michael Leboeuf

There are people who have money and people who are rich.
~ Coco Chanel

This planet has, or rather had, a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
~ Douglas Adams

Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills.
~ Clifford Odets

There are few sorrows, however poignant, in which a good income is of no avail.
~ Logan Pearsall Smith, "Life and Human Nature," Afterthoughts , 1931

Wallets are the fabricated items into which we put our fabricated money, which most people believe to be their possession of the realest value.
~ Terri Guillemets

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.
~ George Horace Lorimer

"Your money, or your life." We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.
~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
~ Sam Ewing

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
~ Bob Hope

Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence.
~ Max Amsterdam

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
~ Robert Orben

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
~ Earl Wilson

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
~ Woody Allen

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.
~ Joe Louis

Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.
~ A.A. Latimer

We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to.
~ Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects , 1727

Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough.
~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.
~ Albert Camus

When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
~ Voltaire

A bank book makes good reading - better than some novels.
~ Harry Lauder

Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind.
~ Kay Ingram

There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we count ourselves among them.
~ Mignon McLaughlin

When a fellow says it hain't the money but the principle o' the thing, it's th' money.
~ Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard, Hoss Sense and Nonsense, 1926

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.
~ M.W. Harrison

They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.
~ Kahlil Gibran

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.
~ Ron Kittle, 1987

If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.
~ Henry Fielding

It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
~ Groucho Marx

We have profoundly forgotten everywhere that Cash-payment is not the sole relation of human beings.
~ Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present

We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.
~ Buzzie Bavasi

A man's soul may be buried and perish under a dungheap or in a furrow of the field, just as well as under a pile of money.
~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
~ Robert Benchley

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
~ H.L. Mencken

...existence has become an unreasoning, wild dance around the golden calf, a mad worship of God Mammon. In that dance and in that worship man has sacrificed all his finer qualities of the heart and soul - kindness and justice, honor and manhood, compassion and sympathy with his fellowman.
~ Alexander Berkman, What Is Communist Anarchism?

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
~ Oscar Wilde

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.
~ Jean-Paul Kauffmann

Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings.
~ Carl Sandburg