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Retirement Quotations

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
~ Abe Lemons

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
~ R.C. Sherriff

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
~ Ella Harris

Retired is being twice tired, I've thought First tired of working, Then tired of not.
~ Richard Armour

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
~ Doug Larson

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
~ J. Lubbock

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
~ Jim Bishop

Don't play too much golf.
Two rounds a day are plenty.
~ Harry Vardon

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
~ Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
~ Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold.
But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.
~ Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
~ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~ Herbert Asquith

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
~ William Wordsworth

First you forget names;
then you forget faces;
then you forget to zip up your fly;
and then you forget to unzip your fly.
~ Branch Rickey

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
~ Phyllis Diller

If you drink, don't drive.
Don't even putt.
~ Dean Martin

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
~ Tommy Bolt