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Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight.
~ Phyllis Diller

I detest love lyrics.
I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on love lyrics.
~ Frank Zappa

I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

What female heart can despise gold?
~ Thomas Gray

The body, she says, is subject to the forces of gravity.
But the soul is ruled by levity, pure.
~ Saul Bellow

I love being married.
It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
~ Rita Rudner

We were happily married for eight months.
Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
~ Nick Faldo

Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature.
~ Aeschylus

Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.
~ Francis Bacon

People marry through a variety of other reasons, and with varying results;
but to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy.
~ James Branch Cabell

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
~ Joseph Campbell

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
~ Joseph Campbell

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
~ Benjamin Franklin

You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?
~ Benjamin Franklin

Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye.
~ Thomas Fuller

More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.
~ Thomas Fuller

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
~ Homer

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
~ Edgar Watson Howe

It is so far from being natural for a man and woman to live in a state of marriage, that we find all the motives which they have for remaining in that connection, and the restraints which civilised society imposes to prevent separation, are hardly sufficient to keep them together.
~ Samuel Johnson

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
~ Jean Kerr

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
~ Martin Luther

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.
~ Langdon Mitchell

Romantic love is an illusion.
Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.
~ Thomas Moore

Marriage is an Athenic weaving together of families, of two souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity - everyday life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul.
~ Thomas Moore

When marrying, one should ask oneself this question:
Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman into your old age?
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

What makes men indifferent to their wives is that they can see them when they please.
~ Ovid

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.
Authority is for children and servants, yet not without sweetness.
~ William Penn

This seemed a dreary and wasted life for a girl with fifteen years of straight A's, but I knew that's what marriage was like, because cook and clean and wash was just what Buddy Willard's mother did from morning till night, and she was the wife of a university professor and had been a private school teacher herself.
~ Sylvia Plath

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostituion.
~ Bertrand Russell

Men are April when they woo, December when they wed.
Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives.
~ William Shakespeare

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated;
often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
~ Sydney Smith

A journey is like marriage.
The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
~ John Steinbeck

I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career.
I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.
~ Gloria Steinem

Loves seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
~ Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired;
women because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
~ Oscar Wilde

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband.
When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife.
Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
~ Oscar Wilde